


life is never what it seems

by sinceresapphire



Series: MCU Bingo 2018 [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Introspection, LLF Comment Project, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, introspective Daisy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 13:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14749659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinceresapphire/pseuds/sinceresapphire
Summary: Daisy takes a moment during the chaos to think about the decisions that brought her to this moment.





	life is never what it seems

**Author's Note:**

> Set somewhere before the S5 finale but no spoilers or anything. 
> 
> This fic is a prompt fill for my MCU Bingo Card -Daisy Johnson & Choices/Decisions

With everything going on, finding a moment of peace and quiet is difficult, if not impossible but Daisy manages to snag one.

 

She uses it to think about how her life got to this point.

 

The choices and decisions she made over the years.

 

Joining Rising Tide and learning from Miles to improve her skills, she thinks is the first big decision that set her life off on this path. She doesn’t include the decisions made by others because they, while having tremendous influence over her life, she didn’t make them.

 

Daisy knew back then that there had to be someone out there who’d want her.

 

Though, she never thought her life story would be what it was.

 

When she joined the organization, she knew she didn’t have all the skills to find out the information she needed and she was desperate.

 

Now though, knowing what she knows….Daisy doesn’t know if she would make the same choice if given the chance to do it all again.

\--

The next logical choice she made involved her hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D. to find information about her parents and her birth.

 

Up to that point, everything she found hinted at some unknown organization.

 

She loves her team despite everything they’ve done and she misses Trip, Bobbi and Hunter all the time.

 

So how could she regret making the choice she did that brought her onto the team?

 

Finding her parents despite their ending, was worth it as well.

 

Daisy finds herself thinking of them and wondering what they’d make of all of this; if they’d be proud of her and who she’s become.

 

After all, what child doesn’t hope for their parents’ approval even deep down inside?

 

So yes, she believes her decision to hack into the organization was the right one for her even though she didn’t know what she was getting herself into.

 

Though to be fair, she doesn’t think Coulson had any idea either.

\--

Perhaps, the most painful choice she made involved going with Ward because it resulted in Daisy getting her powers, the team distrusting her for something she couldn’t help and most importantly, Trip’s death.

 

She still misses him and everything his presence brought.

 

Trip added something special to the team and in the days, months and even years afterwards, there is a hole in the team where he should be; so, she thinks that she’d give her powers back if it meant getting him back.

 

But he’d never want her to do that for him.

 

For what its worth though, she knows he’s still with them, with her even though they can’t see him.

 

As for her parents, it’s a double-edged sword for sure.

 

Her life long mission of finding out her story finally had an answer but it was so different than what she imagined while laying on her bed at St. Agnes.

 

The tragedy is though she found her parents, she wasn’t allowed to keep him.

 

Daisy wonders from time to time, when she lets herself think of him, how her dad is doing and what his new life is like. Part of her thinks she could try going to see him again but then again, it would hurt too much even if she sees him from a distance.

 

May and Coulson are great mentors but at the end of the day, they’re not her parents.

 

It’s like she told Ward ages ago – having something and losing it is worse than never having it at all.

 

So, knowing her parents then losing them really sucks.

 

It’s a big reason she embraced the name they gave her and the work with & protection of the Inhumans, in some hope to make them proud.

\--

Leaving the team to heal and protect Inhumans may not be what the team saw as a good/right one but for Daisy, she knows it was something she needed to do for herself.

 

She doesn’t understand why everyone had such a negative reaction.

 

At the end of the day, she realized back then that she couldn’t heal while being around the team after being possessed by Hive and hurting the team/destroying the base. All that guilt and other emotions she can’t put a name to were so strong, they threatened to drown her.

 

Losing Lincoln on top of that, well, didn’t help matters.

 

Honestly, taking a step back from the team really was for the best, otherwise Daisy doesn’t know what would have happened.

 

Maybe she would have snapped one day, tired of the team treating her like glass.

 

Besides, the way the other agents looked at her….they didn’t deserve to have to deal with the reminder of what happened.

 

What still hurts Daisy though she’s buried it deep inside of her, is the anger and sense of betrayal her team directed at her; that her leaving to put her mental health first was somehow selfish of her and she should have thought about them first.

 

They didn’t need her then.

 

Not really.

 

The Inhumans though–they did.

 

Watchdogs weren’t going to stop hunting down her people and going after them, won’t ever be one of her regrets.

 

Despite the team’s opposing opinions on the matter.

 

It was the right thing to do in her heart because they were and are innocent people who never asked for this so its her duty to protect them.

 

They need to be stopped.

 

Daisy thinks about what she told Fitz and she’s not sure how true that statement really was when compared to being swept up in the moment.

 

Would it really matter anymore?

 

After everything that’s happened lately, they have all changed.

 

Pointless as this is, part of her thinks she won’t ever come to clear conclusion and she thinks she is really okay with that.

 

She doesn’t know what the future holds in store after all; it’s not like she is Raina or anything.

 

As for returning to the team, that remains to be seen if it was the right decision for her.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
> -Short comments  
> -Long comments  
> -Questions  
> -Constructive criticism  
> -“<3” as extra kudos  
> -Reader-reader interaction
> 
> This author replies to comments.
> 
> “If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (sometimes I feel shy when I’m reading and not up to starting a conversation, for example), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!“


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